I'm a free-spirt.
A thinker; a lover; a caregiver.
I don't eat meat.
I care about feelings other than my own.
I have a lot to say.
See you on the moon.


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Jan 5, 2013
@ 8:43 pm
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Someone told me today that abandoning my monthly retwist schedule and choosing to free form was the most “irresponsible thing I could do as such a driven and ‘level headed’ woman.” Besides the fact that I was blatantly offended by being called irrational - by implication of being the opposite of ‘level headed’ - but also felt pained by the idea that by doing this, I was somehow being “irresponsible.” To who? By what? As a black woman? Student? Soon-to-be college graduate? I just laughed. I didn’t know what else to say. I was so taken a back by their narrow mindedness that I was speechless. But if I did have a response, it would sound something like this:
As an African American woman, living in a world where normative expectations dictate the course of my behavior, thought and aesthetic, I acknowledge the irrevocable fact that if I desire to be accepted by everyone, I would have to portray myself as not being so “marked” with ethnic pride, righteousness and cultural arrogance. I can always find other ways to express my love and endearment for my Black heritage without throwing it in someone else’s face to quickly digest without a trace of apprehension. But the real question is, why can’t I make that decision of wearing my hair in the way I choose? I never asked to be born with kinky, coiled, dense African hair. Nor did I request to have skin the color of burnt mahogany. Or lips as full as a swollen thumb. Did I declare the world to be held at a standard that I could not reach without completely distorting my entire outer appearance to blend in with the sea of the unmarked? I wasn’t aware that I made a statement saying I wanted to completely strip myself of absolute autonomy over my identity to live - silently and ashamed - with a mask as a face. Yes, I will go to school and learn. I will go to college and receive a degree. I will develop my interests and conduct extensive research on the issues I feel so passionately for and defend my dissertation in front of a boardroom of khaki colored faces, masked with synthetic hope and shifty eyes, awaiting my hidden findings of the world in 20,000 words or less. I will contribute to my field, teach brilliant minds, awaiting to further on in their journey toward a brighter tomorrow. And yes, I will sacrifice a part of my personal security for protection from the state in exchange for constitutional freedoms. But I will never allow something so innate to the human being to be controlled and manipulated and spat on by rotten mouthed elitists saying that I can’t let my hair grow as it wishes. Uninhibited, liberated, free, radical at the core, good natured, at peace. 

Someone told me today that abandoning my monthly retwist schedule and choosing to free form was the most “irresponsible thing I could do as such a driven and ‘level headed’ woman.” Besides the fact that I was blatantly offended by being called irrational - by implication of being the opposite of ‘level headed’ - but also felt pained by the idea that by doing this, I was somehow being “irresponsible.” To who? By what? As a black woman? Student? Soon-to-be college graduate? I just laughed. I didn’t know what else to say. I was so taken a back by their narrow mindedness that I was speechless. But if I did have a response, it would sound something like this:

As an African American woman, living in a world where normative expectations dictate the course of my behavior, thought and aesthetic, I acknowledge the irrevocable fact that if I desire to be accepted by everyone, I would have to portray myself as not being so “marked” with ethnic pride, righteousness and cultural arrogance. I can always find other ways to express my love and endearment for my Black heritage without throwing it in someone else’s face to quickly digest without a trace of apprehension. But the real question is, why can’t I make that decision of wearing my hair in the way I choose? I never asked to be born with kinky, coiled, dense African hair. Nor did I request to have skin the color of burnt mahogany. Or lips as full as a swollen thumb. Did I declare the world to be held at a standard that I could not reach without completely distorting my entire outer appearance to blend in with the sea of the unmarked? I wasn’t aware that I made a statement saying I wanted to completely strip myself of absolute autonomy over my identity to live - silently and ashamed - with a mask as a face. Yes, I will go to school and learn. I will go to college and receive a degree. I will develop my interests and conduct extensive research on the issues I feel so passionately for and defend my dissertation in front of a boardroom of khaki colored faces, masked with synthetic hope and shifty eyes, awaiting my hidden findings of the world in 20,000 words or less. I will contribute to my field, teach brilliant minds, awaiting to further on in their journey toward a brighter tomorrow. And yes, I will sacrifice a part of my personal security for protection from the state in exchange for constitutional freedoms. But I will never allow something so innate to the human being to be controlled and manipulated and spat on by rotten mouthed elitists saying that I can’t let my hair grow as it wishes. Uninhibited, liberated, free, radical at the core, good natured, at peace. 

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