There’s too much love.

For the first time in a really, really, really long time

Today, I smiled. A lot. 

Wide, and broad to the territories of Johannesburg and Toronto where your memory lay underneath some cool structure, building something.

You were always resourceful at something.

And when I did, all I could think about were those eyes that met mine in the middle of March,

surging through a whole student body.

Like, they were made for me or something.

I don’t know. Let me explain.

I felt a star explode inside of my left rib cage,

burning burning gone you were gone when I looked up,

blank like an unfinished painting on a patient canvas

I loved you from the minute you began to exist in my memory,

my smile today reminded me of how much you meant in that small moment.

Burning like a exploded star, yeah. Real poetic n shit, right?

I was always good with explaining myself to you.

You were mine,

even without having to know what or who you were.

But you belonged to my vocabulary in analogies of rain to your calm and immaculate persona,

and in flowers to your unmatched scent - your scent, that one -

empowered strength and words to emotions that didn’t mean anything to me until now.

You were mine, and I was completely your’s,

innocently stitched inside the chambers of my heart, you never left a scar when you disappeared. Exploding and burning.

It was my fault.

Hallow-minded, I tried to erase an unfinished painting with a patient canvas,

instead of constant stroking wielding throwing color on my imagination,

I held my tongue during an internal structured violence within myself, unable to release the rest, I. Just exploded. I picked up the pieces since then, I’m alright.

So you had remained a blank canvas, innovation blocked by 14 months of neglected effort.

But today, I sat down infront of your metaphor and began to create again. 

I wish you could see how beautiful you came out.

I’ll change that soon.

to be continued.